A short fiction.

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EMOTIONLESS

sighed as she lay down on ’s bed. It had been a hard day, like so many else. wasn’t home from school yet, so his mum had told to go to his room to wait if she wanted. really needed him now. More than ever before. From a room down the hall she could hear music blasting out from ’s little sister ’s CD-player. looked at the clock. would be here any minute now. The curtains blew in the cold winter air.

was fourteen, and had problems with ‘so-called friends’ at school. The girls in her class would basically always fight, and every single time you could place a bet on that it involved . It had been like that since she became more confident and dared speak up. Everybody loved to hate . was a fifteen year old boy who lived down the road. They had known each other for quite a while, and where the best of friends.

“?” asked as he unlocked his bedroom door. He was waiting to see on the other side, but the window was opened. walked towards it. She must have climbed down. sighed and locked the window. He texted her, but she didn’t reply. finished his homework and walked downstairs. “Where’s ?” his mum asked him while he put on his scarf. He shrugged. “What do you mean you don’t know? She went up to your room thirty minutes ago!” his mum stated. “She climbed out of the window” explained. His mum gave him a questioning look. “Why would she do that?” she asked him, continuing making a Greece sea dish. “That’s what I’m going to find out” he replied, locking the door behind him.

He pulled the scarf closer around his neck and walked down towards her house. If it hadn’t been for all the snow he would have seen her traces. He reached the door and rang the door bell. ’s mum opened. “Hi, ! Come on in!” She literally pushed him inside. smiled and got undressed. “Where is she?” he asked as he removed his cap. “She’s upstairs. She’s having a really bad time right now with the girls at school. I’ve talked to her about it, so she’s a bit calmer now.” sighed of pity. He felt bad for her. He knew how much she had had to take of this. He walked upstairs, knocking slightly on her door. “Who’s this?” she asked. He could clearly hear she had been crying. “It’s me” he replied. She unlocked the door and let him in. He gave her a supporting hug and kissed her forehead lightly. “I’m so sorry” he said, sitting down next to him. cuddled up to him and let him rub her back to calm her down. “I’m so sorry”.

That wasn’t the last they heard of it. had a couple of fights more, and she became more tired for every one of them. had thanked her mum several times for being there to talk to her, because if she hadn’t would probably deal with it in a wrong way. was glad she had . He was the one thing that kept her through everything. It made it harder when finally told her he made it in a band. was a very good , so thought it was great. She knew it would be hard when he moved to London, but she was going to make it through.

had lived in London for over a year now, and had never been there since he moved. He wanted her there, and he had called so many times, but seemed to always find an excuse to avoid coming. This annoyed . He wanted to share his fame with her. He needed her, and now she wasn’t there for him, even though he had always, along with her mother and the rest of her family, been there for her through bad times.

“What’s up, dude?” asked as wandered around his room. “” he simply enough replied. “Not again?!” sighed, sitting down on his bed. He nodded and continued walking. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but she seems a bit… difficult!” said. shrugged and still didn’t say anything. “Stop thinking about her, mate. She’s probably not worth it” tried. stopped dead. “You’re wrong!” he accused. “If you knew her like I do you would know what I’m talking about.” nodded in agreement and arose. “Probably” he said walking out.

walked around her room crying. Outside it was raining. She had been spending the last three hours writing a letter, but every time she felt it wouldn’t mean anything no matter what. Her make-up was running in streams down her cheeks. She took off her top and traced her finger down to a spot on her stomach. She had got a new tattoo. loved it. She turned around to look at the tattoo on her back. hadn’t been there when she got them. who had been the first to see her newly pierced navel. She gave up and jumped in bed, staring at a picture of them. She missed him so much, and it hurt to pretend to be emotionless too.

’s mum entered her room with a letter. “It’s from ” she smiled when handing her the letter. ’s heart jumped. He had decorated the envelope. It had a Globe drawing on it and the writing ‘McFLY’ around it. felt tears pressing again. She opened it with shaking hands.

“Hi ”

I’m writing to you, not to tell you that I hate you after what you’ve done to me, but to hear how you feel, and if you’re ok. I wonder if you’re alright. Does it ever happen that you wonder if I am? In case I’ll inform you. I’m ok. I’m still alive. But you would have known if you were actually bothered by watching us on the TV, but I doubt you are. I hope you feel satisfied with what you’ve done, because I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that you were such an emotionless human being. Especially not after everything you have been through. It’s not OK. I remember a couple of years ago, when you were down because of these entire girl stuff and fighting. You were so broken by it, and I was always there. ALWAYS, ! I remember how you were a hero in my eyes. Everything you went through and you were still fighting. That impressed me so much. How did our relationship end up like this? How do you get to sleep at night, knowing it’s your fault? How do you think I feel when I call you, wanting to share what happens with you, and every time you are turning me down with these stupid reasons not to come? I was back in a while ago, and I saw you. You were running away from me. ME, you’re best friend. If you only knew how many nights I have been going to bed crying because of my loss of you. It’s been a long and hard road without you. There have been so many things I want you to see. And to share with me. But you have been letting me down so many times that I’m not gonna be able to cope with it anymore. I don’t hate you, but you’re no hero anymore.

Sincerely, !

cried her eyes out now. This stings. The reality hit her face like a bucket of cold water. Everything he said was true, and she knew it well too good. She was emotionless. Any person who could treat anyone that had always been there for them when they needed it like this was in fact emotionless. mirrored herself. How was it to be emotionless? She lifted her hands up to a necklace that had been sitting around her neck since the day she got it. It was a guardian angel with a month stone. It was a gift from precisely .

was sat on the train to London. She listened to , and stared out of the window. She prayed that would let her in. If not, she had to go back to with the scary night train. didn’t know she was coming. She hadn’t had the courage to tell him. She watched a boy and a girl make out and turned her head away. She felt so sorry for all the things she had done to him. How could she? What had been on her mind?

walked off the station. She walked towards a parked cab. “Is this taken?” she asked the driver. “Nope, young lady. Jump in!” he said. did as he said, and directed him towards the North of London, where their house was. She thanked the driver, paid and walked up the tiles. She felt nervous now. What if he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore? She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “OI! SOMEONE AT THE DOOR! OPEN IT, !” she heard someone yell. appeared in the opening of the door and stared at her. “Hey! Aren’t you ’s mate?” he asked curiously. “Well” replied. “At least I was. I don’t know if he still looks at me that way after all I did to him.” nodded. “Come in, madam!” he said, motioning for her to follow him into the living room. “Who was it?” asked as he looked up from behind the TV. “’s mate, ” replied. “What?” said, hitting his head in the TV-table as he got up. “A… Fuck! So, you’re ?” he asked. nodded slightly, feeling a bit uncomfortable. How could she know what had told them all about her? surprisingly seemed to have picked it up, because he soon smiled at her and told her not to worry. “’s told us everything. All about his feelings, but don’t worry, . We know you surely didn’t mean it that way it seemed.” nodded again. “Um… Anyway, he will soon be here I guess, so just sit down and make yourself comfortable” said, still smiling. He seemed so cute, thought.

A couple of hours later, appeared at the door. had been seeing too, but he had gone to visit his girlfriend. entered as he always did, by falling down onto the sofa, putting his feet on the table. and stared at him. “What?” he asked them, suspecting something. He immediately searched the room with his eyes, until an uncomfortable and unsure came out from the kitchen. ’s yaw opened. “?” he asked. “” replied. Obviously he didn’t know what to do or say neither. “Oh, come on you two” said, pulling by her hand towards . “What are you doing here?” asked coldly. “I knew it was a mistake to come” mumbled, more to herself than any of the guys. She turned on her heel and put on her jacket. “Right you are, . After all you did!” yelled after her. She could hear yelling at him before she closed the door. She found forth her money and headed towards the station. Unluckily she had to wait fifty minutes before the next train came. She was cold and unhappy. After a while she saw approaching her. “I’m sorry” he simply said, sitting down next to her. “I told him what I thought about his behaviour towards you, but he’s determined to be angry at you” explained. “It’s OK, . I didn’t really expect anything else anyway. This is my fault. Thanks for trying though.” felt sorry for her. Yes, she had been acting foolish towards , but everyone deserved a second chance. “Come with me” said, pulling her up by the hand. “What?” asked him surprised. “I’ll make see” he said.

dragged along with him back home to the McFLY-House. Then he told her to tiptoe up to his room. For what seemed like an eternity, she could hear and arguing downstairs. “When did you start to care about her, aye? You don’t even know her. You fancy her already?” shouted to ’s face. seemed to calm down a bit. “, this has nothing to do with me fancying , OK!? I’ve been talking to her, and it seems that she’s a great girl, and it also seems that she regrets it. Besides, everyone should get a second chance.” got quiet, and then heard him walk upstairs towards his room and slam the door. kept holding her tears back. How could she cause so much sorrow?

came in and sat down next to her. He rubbed her arm gently and let her cry into his t-shirt. “I think it’s best if you talk to him alone” he told her. “Err… I can give it a go” replied, getting up. She climbed the stairs and stopped outside his room. She could hear , and knew that he was upset. He was always listening to really loud when he felt down… and betrayed. knocked at his door. She was nervous and was shaking violently. “Go away!” replied from the other side. “Err… , please!” begged. She had started crying and needed to tell him why she had done what she did. stopped the music and walked towards the door, opening it up slowly. “OK, I’m going to give you a chance to explain. At least you deserve that, after all our years as best friends.” Those words cut like s knife. felt like she could never be happy again.

“I’ve been scared, ,” started, “you know how things always have been with my so-called friends. I find it hard to trust anyone. I know I can trust you, don’t get me wrong, but after all I’ve been through, I start to think that it might be me that there’s something wrong with, and not my ‘friends’. I thought you were better off without me. When I see you know, I know I did the wrong thing. You should only know how much I regret everything, . I know you don’t trust me right now, but please trust me on this one.” snorted and turned away from her. “You mean nothing to me now, . Nothing!” “You don’t mean that” cried. turned and faced her. “DON’T I?” he asked, “You were everything I knew. Do you know how it felt when the only person except of my family that I could depend on deserted me and left me alone? The worst thing is that you look as beautiful as ever, . Like you’ve always have. I wish we could turn back the time, but you mean nothing to me now. I don’t need you. When you left me, I saw my life walk away from me. But guess what, I caught up with it, and now I have a great time without you. I thought we always could depend on each other, but I’ve never been so wrong.” had sat down on his bed, staring out of the window and out through the night. kneeled in front of him and looked him straight in the eyes. “Tell me right to my face that I mean nothing to you!” she said. looked away. “?” “I can’t,” he said quietly, “you still mean the world to me. Even after all you have done to me.” smiled through the tears and gave him a hug. “, please forgive me. I feel awful. I love you, please don’t hate me…” “I don’t know,” replied without looking at her, “Do you have the slightest clue of how much you hurt me?” didn’t reply, just sat in complete silence on the floor with her head hidden in her hands.

thought it was over, until suddenly sat down on the floor next to her and hugged her intimately. “Don’t you ever hurt me again, !” he cried. cried also, and when they realised how silly the whole situation was, they got up, dried their tears away and smiled to each other. Before could realise what happened, bent down and kissed her lips tenderly. would never have thought that that would ever happen, but it did, and she liked it. It felt right. “This is why what you did crushed my heart” said as they broke apart. kissed him again. “You should only know how much I’ve regretted it, . I love you.” smiled and took her hand in his. “I love you too, .”