A short fiction.

No rating, but you read on your own risk. Please leave feedback :)

DON'T BOTHER ME

sat down on her double-sized bed and chewed on the end of her pencil. It was 3AM, and she didn’t get to sleep. Outside it was raining. stared gloomily at the bushes in front of her bedroom-window. It was January, and it should be snowing! Instead… it was raining…Everything in ’s life seemed to go wrong right now. was sick of it… She needed something to get her out from the state she was in right now. She knew who he was, and she also knew that that would never happen.

removed her gaze from the window and to her laptop. She slowly started to write;

“Don’t bother….”

removed it. She had all these toughts in her head, and she needed to get them out. This was in fact the only thing she knew talking to her mum wouldn’t help her. She usually talked to her mum about everything, but this was something different. No one could help her now. This was something she needed to deal with alone.

decided that this was for no good, so she lay down on her bed, closing her eyes and listened to the sound of the falling rain. She thought back to the day she first met him…

--FLASHBACK--

“Hi” someone said to her. was sat at some bar in London, alone. Her two friends had left her when they both found these two guys. didn’t really have anything else to do, so she decided to sit there for some minutes to at least get some couple of drinks, since she had just turned eighteen. turned around to see a -haired guy with amazing, eyes. He had the most amazing smile she had ever seen, and she recognised him instantly. How couldn’t she, when his band was one of the bands she listened to a lot?

“Hi” she greeted him. She turned around so that she got a bit better view. “Can I buy you another drink?” he asked. He was still smiling. “Yes, please” smiled back. “I’m by the way”. took her hand and shook it slightly. “I’m ” he replied, waving for the waitor to come over.

--END--

opened her eyes slightly. She looked at the pictures of her and on the wall. Her favourite was the one that was stood at her night table. It was a beautiful picture of them down by the lake. looked down at and looked up at him. Neither one of them payed any attention to the photohraph. How could they just be friends?

closed her eyes again, remembering the time picked her up and drove her on a My Chemical Romance-gig. and were almost always together after that. She got to know the other guys almost as well as , and she used to sleep over at their place whenever she could and it suited them. They became very close friends, and they had a great time together. Even though found very attractive, she never felt anything more for him. Until now…

--FLASHBACK--

“This is nice, isn’t it?” asked in between mouthfuls of potato chips. “Just two losers without any partners, watching a movie, drinking cola and eating chips…” laughed at him and hit him with the pillow. “If you haven’t noticed, ,” she said, trying to drown her laughter, “you have made losers cool!” laughed even harder and bumped into the can of coke that stood in front of them on the table. Its contents got spilled out over the whole table as well as the carpet on the floor. They exchanged looks and burst out in hysterical laughter. Five minutes later they managed to get a cloth and dry it up.

“I’m exhausted” yawned as put the last empty bowl of candy in the sink. “You?” he asked, turning towards . “A bit, yeah” she replied, walking over to him. “Better get home then, if you wanna sleep” she said, giving him a goodbye-hug. He pulled her away a bit and smiled at her. “Sleep here? We’re not supposed to be in studio before tomorrow night.” nodded. “Yeah, OK. Thanks!”

--END--

sat up and started typing on the laptop. She knew what she was doing now. She wrote a letter to him, even though she knew he would never get it. She would never give it to him.

continued typing, even though tears were streaming down her face. Digging up all those feelings was so much pain. He would never get to see her cry over this… Never!

looked at her phone. No message. had sent him a message earlier on that day, asking if he could come with her to the stores the next day. He had promised to come with her to buy her brother a birthday present. knew her brother almost as well as she did, so he had promised he’d go with her. He hadn’t replied though, but she was still hoping. She logged onto MSN and checked, but no one was on. Not even her best friend, who used to hyperventilate whenever she wasn’t logged on. signed off, stopping her typing to think. She dried her tears away and pulled the covers tightly around her.

She got quite a scare when her telephone suddenly started to vibrate on the night table. She picked it up and turned off the sound. It was from ;

I’m sorry, babe, but I’m afraid I have to cancel. I promised to come with her. Needs a new dress for the Award-show. Luv ya, <3”

This made her cry even more. He had promised to come with her, and now he cancelled because needed a new dress? Why the hell couldn’t she just use one of the many hundred other dresses she had in her closet?

The next day went out to get her brother a present on her own. After a couple of hours she had found the perfect present, all on her own, and she was proud of herself and happy as she walked into a café to get something to eat. Her good mood disappeared, however, when she spotted and in the corner. instantly wanted to walk out of there, and so she did. She found her car and drove off home. When she entered her bedroom she lay down on the bed, closing her eyes, trying to deal with all the feelings that came up by seeing with another girl. She turned on her laptop and started typing;

“… was a chapter in herself. She was tall, almost six feet. She had legs that went on forever, and she was beautiful. She had style, always dressed nice, wore perfect make-up and seemed majestetic to everyone else. could cook, could eat whatever she wanted without even gaining a pound. was highly educated and could speak Spanish, German, French and English fluently. Her friends was just like her. Seemed perfect in every way. was the most beautiful of them though. practices Tai Chi and Yoga. She works out at the Gym and still has time for her piano-lessons and school. Even though she is already highly educated, that’s not enough for and her prefect life. I sometimes wonder if there’s anything, anything at all that does not have. is so much more than deserve… and she’s so much better than me. “

--FLASHBACK--

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” asked . Not because she felt uncomfortable, but because she didn’t know wheter this was what he really wanted or not. nodded. “Unless you don’t want to?” he asked unsurely. “Listen, , I really don’t want to do hurt you or anything, so if you don’t want then I…” shut him up by kissing him. He kissed her back with more power, and before they knew it they were making out, feeling each other all over.

--END--

went to bed, crying. She promised that would never get to see her like this. He would never get to see her cry.

The next day came around. tried her best to avoid him, and sensed that something was wrong. “Why do you bother what’s wrong, ?” she asked him, pretty annoyed. “Because I care!” replied truthfully. “No you don’t” argued. “Of course I do, ! Where do this come from?” didn’t know what to do or what to say to make things better. “Just… leave, please” said to him, sitting down on the sofa with her head hidden in her hands. She couldn’t cry. refused and sat down next to her. “Please explain, . I love you. Don’t shut me out. I’ll help you.” looked at him. “You can’t help me with this, ” she whispered. was about to argue about her statement when she got up and opened the door, motioning for him to get out. sighed, shook his head and walked out.

“For you I would give up all I own. I’d do anything. I could die for you. You were the reason why I came through a difficult period of my life. I would do anything.

She’s everything to you, , like you are to me. My only problem is that I’ll never get you. Don’t bother. I’ll be fine. I won’t die of deception. Maybe it is for the best that I’m not your type. You won’t ever see me cry over this, , so don’t bother. I’ll be fine.

She’s got it all, so why should I keep trying to be better? I can never be better than her. She’s perfect. She’s almost not human. It’s human to fail, ! It’s human not to be perfect! I was just a friend. A girl friend you could mess around with whenever you didn’t have a girlfriend. You never did think of my feelings, did you?

I’ll be fine, , so don’t bother anymore… I’m better off without you".

smiled when she finished writing it. would never get it, at least not intentionly, but it felt good to get it all out. When hat put the letter in an envelope, she walked out of her parents house, smiling. She finally felt free. She called up her best friend and arraged a work-out session at the gym.

walked up the path to ’s house. ’s mum said he could wait if he wanted. “She’ll be home from the gym in about twenty minutes or so” she said, smiling. nodded, agreed to take something to drink with him upstairs and walked up to her room. looked around. was a couple of years younger than him. He didn’t really know what had happened with them. They met, and they just instantly became best friends. felt so relaxed and comfortable with her. That’s why she meant so much to him. While sat there looking at pictures of her and her friends, he started thinking about . He had proposed to her. What would happen to and ’s frienship now? had taken the first step towards family. would sail off somehow…

walked inside, putting her bag down. Her mum smiled at her from the kitchen. had showered at the gym, and taken her time to look good. “ is upstairs” her mum suddenly said. ran upstairs, just in time to see putting the letter down. His back faced her, and he hadn’t heard her. He threw the letter to the floor and got up. When he turned around could see he cried. She didn’t say anything. “Why didn’t you say something?” he asked hurt. “Because I was never good enough, . We’re good now, OK? No hard feelings. Just… Having you in my life won’t do any good.” avoided eyecontact and walked away. cried. If it was possible she felt even more bad than before…

tried to call several times, but it was no surprise that he didn’t take it. She then decided to go to his place. Through the kitchen window she saw him all alone in the living room. She didn’t bother to knock or call the bell, because if he saw her he would not let her in. “, I’m sorry for everything I said” she said bravely as she stepped into the living room. got up and pointed at the door. “Leave, . I’ll never bother you again. Just go!” He had been crying. That much she could see. didn’t leave. She ran up to him and hugged him like she was intentionally not letting him go ever again. “I love you, . I might love you as something more than a friend too, but you have been my best friend for so long. I didn’t know what to do. And now I see that I did the wrong thing. Please forgive me” she whispered while tears streamed down her face. held her tightly. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you for this, ” he whispered back. backed a bit and dried his tears away. “I’m a total failure, . You know that. Please forgive me. I’ve just done the biggest mistake I could possibly have”. pulled away from the hug. “Do you have any idea of how much you hurt me with those words?” he asked her. nodded and looked at her feet. “If it hurts for you to see me with her then it’s better if we end it all tonight. I love her, . Not like I love you” he explained. had to sit down for a bit. She felt dizzy. “So this is it then?” she asked him without looking at him. sat down and started drying her tears away. “Don’t bother then, ” said as she stormed out. "It's your own words, not mine" shouted after her.